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Mar 5, 2006
Looks like I'll be working for Microsoft. I start on the 27th of March. Score!
Posted at 10:11 pm by LMan
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Nov 2, 2005
I came in to work early today because we were all crunching to meet a deadline to deliver some stuff to Dell and HP. Half way through the day, an email gets sent out notifying everyone that the company will be restructuring. Those being laid off will be notified and are expected to clear their desks by 5pm (the email was sent at 3:00pm). Initially there were no numbers, no way to gauge exactly what restructuring would mean.
After about 30 minutes of trying to continue work, an engineer cames upstairs with a shocked look on his face, he told us that four members of his department had been laid off (basically half), and that the layoffs are going to mean getting rid of 40% of the workforce.
Shit.
I saw my boss walk by with a purple envelope. He let us know that they were laying off managers. He then walked briskly to his office (and that was the last I saw of him). It turns out purple envelopes contain severance pay information. Next the VP comes out and asks to see Joe in his office. Joe was a long time employee and had been around for most of the companies life time, were they really firing him? Shortly thereafter he came out of the VP's office with a purple envelope.
Shit.
This continued, and we all sat in the computer lab while every 10 minutes or so the VP walked in, called a name, and that person followed him back to his office where they were inevitably informed that they no longer fit the companies needs. Once it was down to just me and one other Tester, the VP returned to the lab and said quietly: "Lowell, can I see you in my office?"
Shit.
The conversation itself was pretty benign, basically they said "here's your severence pay information", "do you have any questions?", "please give me your keycard." in that order, and it was done. I had officially been fired from a job for the first time. Groovy.
Posted at 02:46 am by LMan
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Jul 28, 2005
I drive cars into ditches, BITCHES!
Man. I've had a lot of things happen to me recently. Unfortunately, because my job is to sit at a computer all day, I never feel like sitting at a computer and writing a blog entry when I get home. Well, here goes....
1. I moved. I no longer live in Lynnwood WA. I live in Redmond! Basically, I threw all of my stuff into my car, and got an apartment next door to my place of employment. The best part of all is my new apartment doesn't smell like something died and then hid itself in a corner somewhere. Sweet!
Ah, I'm lazy. I'm going to let Lionel write the rest of my blog entry based on the following things that have happened to me.
1. I moved
2. I started working out with El Presidente
3. I drove the back of my car into a ditch.
4. He lifted it out.
Sorry for the lack of updates lately. I was too busy moving into my apartment.
My new apartment is totally sweet. It's almost as awesome as I am (but
not quite). I'm so awesome, one time I lit a puppy on fire just cause I
felt like it.
I have an awesome story to tell that involves me pumping iron. I pump
iron six days a week, it keeps me looking fly for the ladies. For some
reason I work out with the president of my company, I'm not sure why.
Probably cause I'm so awesome. I have a feeling I'm gonna get a promotion soon,
from additional tester to normal tester. It's gonna be phat.
So me and Felix (that's his name) go to Gold's Gym. I was having a bad day, I only
benched like 350 lbs. Felix, the president of the company, he can bench 5,702 lbs.
He's so sexy.
So we get done pumping iron and we hit the showers. Felix likes to shower with me,
I'm not sure why but I go along with it cause it might mean a promotion. We leave, but
not before Felix gives me a good firm slap on the behind. "Good work, Tiger" he says.
Sweet. He wouldn't call me "tiger" if he wasn't planning on giving me a promotion.
Here's where it gets really awesome. We drive home and everythings going good until
UH OH!!! I drove into a ditch. Then Felix lifted it out of the ditch. He's so sexy.
PEACE OUT NIGGAZ
-Low3ll
P.S. i'm awesome.
Posted at 12:10 am by LMan
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Jul 6, 2005
A collection of styles of electronic dance music, the earliest forms beginning in the early to mid 1980s.
I'm updating because something reached out and touched me. It touched me in a very bad way and I feel obligated to talk about it.
I was touched by House Music. They play it in my gym. I've decided that if techno is for people on drugs, then house music must be for people who were brutally beaten as children, and feel the need to reenact their childhood experiences in music form. All House Music is the same. Basically there's some beat that they sample from somewhere else, and then there's someone sort of singing the same word over and over, only someone else decided things didn't suck enough already so they had to put an effect on the singers voice to bring it to the next level of shitty. House Music licks yeti balls.
So my life, what's going on in my life? Well, I'm not taking classes this summer, so I'm just kicking it, and by kicking it I mean working 50 hours a week (duh!).
Here's a sample day:
8:55am: My alarm goes off, I stumble into the shower.
9:20am: I get in my car and drive to work, burning half my days pay check in gas.
10:05am: Arrive at work, sit in my cubicle and make a face like I'm in deep thought.
11:30am: Go eat lunch (usually with my ex-boss who got demoted being a cool boss)
1:00pm: Get back from lunch. Put back on deep thought face with extra intensity since lunch is only supposed be an hour long.
7:00pm: Go downstairs and play Halo 2.
7:30pm: Get back in my car and drive home, burning the other half of my days pay check in gas.
8:15pm: Stop at Qdoba and eat a burrito. They had the balls to ask me, "What are you going to love at Qdoba?"™ and the answer turned out to be their steak burrito, every day, for the rest of my life.
9:15pm Arrive at gym, work out.
10:30pm: Get back to my apartment
1:00am: Go to sleep.
My life is action packed. Now you can see why I never update my blog. I almost fell asleep just writing this entry.
Posted at 11:47 pm by LMan
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Jun 27, 2005
I'm like one of them hollywood celebrities.
I've been busy so I haven't been able to update. BUSY BEING FAMOUS.
It's actually kind of cool because that game is going to get full page adds in Playboy and Maxim (I haven't been told yet whether or not my name will be mentioned in those ads, but I can only assume it will). I may not be in the imdb but it's a start.
Posted at 09:32 pm by LMan
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May 4, 2005
ANDRHEA IS GOING TO GET SCHOOLED
So I hear Andrhea is going to Western. Man... The amount of education a university gives you is inversely proportional to the amount of trees there are on campus. People who go to Western won't be offended by that because THEY'RE TOO BUSY FROLICKING IN THE TREES TO LEARN FANCY WORDS. Here's an actual photo of a dorm at Western:
I HOPE YOU GET AN ADEQUATE EDUCATION ANDRHEA. Don't let any sap get on your homework, oh that won't happen because they don't give homework there, they're too busy doing whatever it is people do with trees (besides cutting them down, which the hippies at Western definitely DON'T do).
I told Andrhea to go to University of Washington instead. It has a perfectly acceptable amount of trees (unlike Western), and they read books and learn things in 'The Big City" that aren't taught in the forest.
Western Washington University:
University of Washington:
SEE ANDRHEA!?!?
Posted at 03:34 pm by LMan
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Apr 13, 2005
My blog is a cutting edge simulation of my life.
I really want a camera phone. If I had one, I could capture all the magical moments in my day to day life and post them here. I just wrote a really awesome introduction for this entry but it was loaded with so much goodness that it crashed Internet Explorer. Pretend you just read a life changing amazing beautifully written introduction.
Here's what my blog would look like if I had a camera phone:
Except not like that last picture. Whoever took that picture is a total nerd.
The big news in my life is my math teacher totally blows. He's the same one I had a couple quarters ago, I can't use his real name because my blog seems to have some kind of deal with google where whenever I say anything it instantly shoots the top of the search results. I'm going to call him "Mr. Asshat" for the purpose of my story (try googling Mr. Asshat in a few days and see if you don't get my blog).
Mr. Asshat is an asshat. He hates me and possibly the world (but not my girlfriend, we'll get to that later). Every time he uses an example where someone is doing something they shouldn't be doing, he uses my name. "Now let's say Lowell murdered another student, buried them in his back yard, and turned in all their homework at the end of the quarter claiming it was his. That would be illegal." WHY USE ME AS AN EXAMPLE MR. ASSHAT!? WHAT DID I DO TO YOU OR YOUR FAMILY!?!? Another move he likes is asking "Are there any questions?" Then when I ask a question he goes off on a rant about how we need to focus more in class and basically makes me look like a douche bag in front of everyone. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ASKED IF THERE WERE QUESTIONS FUCKBITCH! As if that wasn't enough, I was walking to class today and I saw him from behind walking with a female student and flirting with them. Then I realized THAT FEMALE STUDENT IS MY GIRLFRIEND. She says she was just talking to him but she also mentioned that he was checking out her ass (or her belt) when they climbed the stairs. Why would he check out her belt? Enough said.
Andrhea's name doesn't show up on any kind of googlism search, so I'm going to try and fix that:
Andrhea is a pirate.
Andrhea is one of many who think Lowell is smart, funny, intelligent and good looking because he is.
Andrhea is someone who likes to kill puppies.
Andrhea is gay?
This is totally going to work.
Posted at 03:43 pm by LMan
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Apr 6, 2005
Some people will tell you knowledge is priceless, BUT I KNOW IT COSTS $160
One bad thing about a new school quarter is buying books. Why is buying books bad? Because they COST MORE THAN YOUR MOM. All I had to do was buy a stupid Calculus book and the solutions manual. The problem was, I waited too long to buy it. I strolled into the college bookstore today and they were completely out of used copies.
Because I have a job and can't come to the campus during the day, I can't buy the book used from another student. That left only one option: Taking out a second mortgage and buying the book NEW. To give you an idea of how much it sucked, I'll compare the price of my textbook to a bunch things I could have bought instead.
TI89 Calculator (capable of doing all my homework and cleaning my apartment at the push of a button): $70
Gamecube with games and memory card: $86
New sound system for my car $99
Hooker: $140
.......................................................
Calculus by James Stewart: $160.23!!!!!!!
Aargh. I hate books.
Posted at 02:32 pm by LMan
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Apr 2, 2005
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
I haven't updated in a few days, I think that's obvious but let me just start off by saying it wasn't because of just laziness. Numerous factors contributed to me not updating:
1. I'm Lazy
2. I've been busy
3. I'm Lazy
Now that that's out of the way, I'll try to cover everything of importance that's happened to me in the last month or two:
I survived another school quarter. I only took two classes but because of my work schedule at a certain evil corporation, I didn't have enough time to do anything other than study and work. After a little work and a lot of whining, I managed to finish the quarter with decent grades and begin mentally preparing myself for next quarter. Ah, life is good. I also spent money. A lot of money. I was making moolah faster than I was spending it, so when a friend knew an 'insider' at dell who could get me a deal on a megasweetgiantwidescreenlcd I connected the dots and got rid of my extraneous hard earned dollars. Finally I can watch episodes of Family Guy with perfect color. Money well spent.
In other news, Mitch Hedberg died. Two words: ah crap. He came to Seattle and did a live show but since I didn't know HE WAS GOING TO DIE, I didn't go. Just incase you don't know who Mitch Hedberg is or why he's funny, here are a few quotes:
"I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before."
"I would imagine if you understood Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy"
"It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky."
"And then at the end of the letter I like to write P.S.- This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated."
"My lucky number is 4 billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. 'Come on, 4 billion! Fuck. Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."
Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005
Posted at 03:47 pm by LMan
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Feb 5, 2005
Who you trying to get crazy with essay? Don't you know I'm loco?
Essays suck. And by suck, I mean they totally blow. I signed up for English 105 (Analytical writing) this quarter because I needed it to graduate and it's offered as an 'online' class which seemed convenient and hassle free. I've lost a lot of sleep writing essays but it all paid off today. Not just writing essays, but life in general paid off when I read a fellow students first draft.
NOTE: I didn't make this up, and could never make anything this hilarious up, ever.
Posted at 09:12 am by LMan
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